October 29, 2025.
Written by General Psychologist, James Blaze

The Right Therapist

Considering going to therapy can take a long time to come around to, especially after dealing with issues on your own. After deciding to connect with help, a big question may be, “How do I find a psychologist who is the right fit for me?”. Also, what happens if therapy does not feel right with that psychologist after I have started? This piece will help you understand what to look for in a good psychologist, why a good fit matters and what to do if things do not quite work out with your psychologist.

A Trained Psychologist

Start with the basics, make sure your psychologist is registered with the Psychology Board of Australia (PsyBA). This ensures your psychologist is adequately trained, abides by industry standards (for example, engages in continuous professional development and supervision) and upholds proper ethical conduct in their practice. Ensure that the psychologist you have chosen has experience in the issues you are facing, whether it be anxiety, depression, relationships, trauma, neurodivergence, etc. If they have one, read on their website about the therapies they use and whether you think you would take to that approach. Approaches can vary based on your issues, for example, an interpersonal approach focuses on issues between people, a cognitive approach focuses on problematic thinking styles and a behavioural approach may focus on things you may have difficulty doing.

Bias and Preferences

Although trained to keep personal beliefs and bias outside of therapy, it is undeniable that psychologists can vary in their age, gender, ethnicity and culture. Clients may feel more comfortable speaking to psychologists with a particular demographic profile. These preferences are important and valid. Biases aside, psychologists’ own therapeutic approaches and treatment areas may naturally be influenced by personal experiences; this might also be of interest to particular clients, who may prefer a psychologist with an authentic connection to one of their issues. For example, someone struggling with difficulties around attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may seek out a psychologist who is neurodivergent, or someone with a particular religious belief may seek out a psychologist with an understanding of how those religious beliefs may influence their issues. This can make us feel deeply understood and heard, so do not be afraid to be selective. Integrate into these preferences, your psychologist’s fees (whether they offer a sliding scale), practice location, telehealth availability and general availability (so they have ongoing availability to see you as needed).

Try enquiring with your proposed psychologist about a brief phone call to discuss whether they are a good fit for the issues you are experiencing (usually 15 minutes or so). This might give you a better sense of what they are like if you hear from them on how they work.

The Therapist-Client Relationship

Aside from the various therapies a psychologist uses to help you, the relationship with them itself can be a major influence on the effectiveness of therapy. Look out for feeling validated and not judged, attended to in the vulnerable moment and not out of sync with your psychologist. Keep in mind to allow for notes to be taken at important times during your session. This is to ensure you receive the best treatment (and because psychologists do not have infallible memory!). You should expect to feel collaborated with on goals and not overly directed or instructed. The sessions belong to you and the problems are uniquely your own, as such, you are the expert in your own life, and the psychologist is the expert in mental health. This is an opportunity for you to work with them and for them to work with you. Lastly, listen to whether you feel welcomed, understood and able to be honest. This might be critical to you feeling cared for and can speak on more private and distressing issues. These relationship qualities, like any relationship, can take time to develop. If you do not see signs of these, it may be time to think about what is next.

When Things Do Not Feel Like You Hoped

After several sessions, if you find that the rapport with your psychologist is not steady enough to continue, note that this is an important thought to pick up on. Not every psychologist is the right fit for every client. If something feels off, follow this up by asking yourself if you feel safe opening up further to your psychologist. If not, consider whether you would bring this up with your psychologist to talk through any possible misunderstandings or misatunements. Discomfort when speaking about this may be natural and even reflect patterns outside of the therapy room finding their way to the surface. However, if it continues after this, it might be a sign to move on.

Switching Therapists

You might worry about “hurting your therapist’s feelings” or feeling guilty for not trusting the process. But therapy is a service, and at the end of the day, your comfort matters most. If you are not comfortable bringing up ending sessions in person, consider sending an email, perhaps along the lines of, “I appreciate your time in supporting me, but I would like to find a psychologist with a different approach/fit”. If you go into detail about the issues, you could be providing critical feedback that helps the psychologist adjust their practice style. Communicating the issue in detail might help you feel heard and possibly relieved to assert how you feel. If you have worked together for some time, consider asking for a brief letter summarising your contact that you may be able to show to a better-fitting psychologist, so they can gain some insight before meeting you.

Final Thoughts

Finding the right therapist might seem more challenging than you anticipated. The important thing is to listen to the signs that things may not be working, try your best to speak up to see if change is possible and move on if you find things are not improving. A strong therapeutic relationship can be life-changing, but it starts with you feeling safe, seen, and supported. Take your time, trust your instincts, and know that the psychologist is out there.